«FreiWillig – Episode 17» by Lilly M. Beck

The adventures of a German sub. Inspired by real life events.

For Hanna*, everything is a mess right now, which takes up so much strength, but deep in her heart she feels that there simply can be no turning back. Her husband is behaving so badly that her lawyers are now arranging the divorce. She has put everything that is important to herself into storage for the time being.

At the moment she spends a lot of time with herself and mentally goes through everything again. Always going back and forth. Especially for processing with Gregor* this is important. What exactly it is with them now, she can't say at all. But one thing is clear: they can't keep their hands off each other. But the contact between the meetings is different. The relationship is no longer so intimate. So close. Everything feels noncommittal, and she's absolutely not sure she can keep it that way… Still, she's clear that she doesn't want to give up Gregor. Not yet.

Hanna mourns. Feeling the stabbing pain again and again, she tries everything to keep the memory of their time together alive a little longer. This includes listening to old voicemails from Gregor in the evenings and reminiscing about the time when she was still allowed to be his. The lack of security gets to her, especially in her current situation, but despite all the anger and pain, she also draws new strength for herself. She does regular sports again to clear her head and treats herself to little highlights. After a massage appointment, chance lands her in the oldest cinema in Berlin. She is looking forward to this new experience, because she has the auditorium completely to herself for the time being. She has never done that before. Watched a movie alone in the cinema. Strange. She is not really afraid. But just as the movie is about to start, a dark figure stands in front of her….
The seventeenth installment of the 20-part short story about Sub Hanna, her Dom Gregor, and their passionate affair in Berlin.

*Names of people and places in this book have been changed